Relationship/Couples Therapy
Relationships deserve a space where the relationship itself gets to be the central focus and therefore honored – where partners can reconnect, rebuild, and strengthen together. No matter what stage or state your relationship is in, counseling can help. My experience ranges from premarital through general maintenance or dissolution.
Relationship Maintenance
Relationship work focuses on navigating the expression of unspoken and unmet needs. We will work on mitigating anxiety within the unit by prioritizing self-integration, creating shared meaning and relationship culture, framing differences, developing skills to effectively manage conflict, and establishing boundaries.
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM)
Whether you are just seeking an ENM affirming therapist, are individually exploring the idea of ENM, are in a monogamous relationship and hoping to transition to ENM (or want to close your relationship), are currently in a ENM relationship, there is a place here for you.
Interracial/Intercultural
In addition to common relationship stressors (communication, sex, kids, money…) those in interracial/intercultural relationships may also face some unique difficulties such as intolerance/stigma, lack of support, and loss or acquisition of societal privileges. If these factors are impactful to you and your pattern, there is a place here for you.
You want preventative and/or maintenance support for a strong relationship
You want to reconnect, rebuild, and strengthen your relationship
You are trying to decide whether you should stay together or not
You want to better understand your partners needs and desires
You want to create shared meaning as you build a life with your partner
You want to decrease and improve conflict and increase connection
Relationship/Couples therapy may be for you if:
Increase the expression of unspoken and unmet needs
Illuminate the “why” behind a need and lead to increased understanding and compassion for partners
Develop direct, respectful and, considerate language during conflict
Increase curiosity, comfort with asking for clarity, and benefit of the doubt for self and partner
Implement routines of connection for increased intimacy
Create shared meaning
How relationship/couples therapy can help:
What to expect in a relationship session:
Relationship therapy begins with both partners meeting with me for an intake. During this first session together I will review policies and procedures, get to know your relationship, the reasons you are seeking therapy and your hopes for the therapeutic process.
Depending on your purpose for attending relationship therapy, I may ask you to complete the “Gottman Relationship Check Up.” It is an online assessment that consists of 480 questions about friendship, intimacy, emotions, conflict, values, and trust, as well as parenting, housework, finances, individual areas of concern, and more. It is a one time charge of $40 and provides a detailed overview of strengths and challenges within the relationship
Whether or not I ask you to complete the Gottman Relationship Check up, the next step involves meeting with each partner individually. While the relationship is the primary focus, the relationship is composed of individuals and it is essential for me to get to know each of you separately. During our individual time together I will ask about family history growing up, previous relationships, and individual concerns.
The fourth session will bring everyone back together where we will review results of the assessment (if taken) and prioritize goals. This process will help us establish big-picture thinking via a plan to reach your goals. These goals are not rigid rules or frameworks, but rather act like guidelines for our sessions. The plan could include psychoeducational information, development of self regulatory skills, improve conflict management skills, increase awareness and articulation of needs, increase fondness and admiration between partners, deepen understanding even in disagreement, create and develop shared meaning, navigating agreement and holding space for unique stressors that may impact the relationship.
Depending on the goal, this may take just a few months or it may take a few years. It is unique to your relationship, your process, and your needs. I regularly check in with clients to see if they feel our space is productive and that they are meeting their goals. If so, next steps might include focusing on a new goal, decreasing the frequency of our sessions, or transitioning out of therapy. Once yall are no longer actively working on goals and feel less need for support we will process your therapeutic journey and say our farewells. Please know that yall are welcome to reach out to me at any point in the future to inquire about resuming services if you wish.
For some relationship clients, an active goal is not desired. You may want to come specifically for maintenance - to use the space to talk openly and digest life events as a part of your relationship health routine (much like going to the gym). I am happy to work with and provide space for your. We can always tailor the space to fit your needs – both immediate and long-term.
